“It’s not about the food and it’s not about me.”
When I was young I taught myself to cook and discovered I was a natural, especially at baking. Given my insecurities back then, this was like adding an extra handful of yeast to the bread dough – that sucker’s gonna’ puff up! Here’s how I thought about cooking :
I prepare the food, people eat the food; they love it, they love me! It’s all about me!
It stood to reason that if they loved me for my single layer Austrian hazelnut cake, they’d really love me if I baked a twelve-layer Dobosh Torte. Talk about ego; Showing hospitality? More like showing off. Plus I always had to outdo myself – what if my cake falls, what if I forget and make the same dish? What if they don’t like it/me?!
Fast forward to 2005. I became a speaker for Stonecroft Ministries and while studying the art of public speaking, I read a quote about the difference between an amateur speaker and a professional: the amateur takes the podium and says “Here I am!” The professional looks out at the audience and says, “There you are!”
Hospitality is basically saying, “There you are!” It took a while, but gradually I came to understand that you can be a fabulous cook and not be the least bit hospitable, and you can be the most hospitable person in the world and not have a clue how to cook. I knew how to cook long before I knew how to be hospitable.
THE LAST COURSE: In her book, The Lady in the Palazzo, Marlena De Blasi says, “It’s not what’s on the table, but who’s on the chairs.” Don’t misunderstand; food and hospitality are intimately related, but sometimes we need to adjust our priorities. Great cooks and not-so-great cooks often share the same problem: pride and ego and can get in the way of connecting with others. And isn’t connecting what it’s all about?
*Some of my favorite people are seated on these chairs: My husband Roger, grandson Tyler and granddaughter Alexis, who cooked dinner for us! Salad, cornbread and skillet stuffed peppers!
sdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfs*Seated on these chairs are some of my favorite people: My husband Roger, grandson Tyler and granddaughter Alexis, who cooked dinner for us! Salad, cornbread and skillet stuffed peppers! *Seated on these chairs are some of my favorite people: My husband Roger, grandson Tyler and granddaughter Alexis, who cooked dinner for us! Salad, cornbread and skillet stuffed peppers! *Seated on these chairs are some of my favorite people: My husband Roger, grandson Tyler and granddaughter Alexis, who cooked dinner for us! Salad, cornbread and skillet stuffed peppers!
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